going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
