I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
