so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
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