I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
