why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
