Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
