I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize