i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
