It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You were trust falling into bushes
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
