38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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