fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
