just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
