dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
