One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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