He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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