I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
