So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
