I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
