i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
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Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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