Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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