im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
