So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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