So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
