if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
