I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
