I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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