WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
