Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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