What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
