I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
