she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
