I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
