remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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