Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
worst night to have a conscience
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
