what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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