Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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