some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
