Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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