I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
