Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
