Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
