My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
