How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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