I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
