watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
