I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize