I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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