how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
