just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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