I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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