it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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