you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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