I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
