I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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