I'm going to jail i love you
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
