He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
