im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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