wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
