Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
