So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
