I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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