I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
