Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
