You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
How does one acquire holy water?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
