i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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