you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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