I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
