Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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