Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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