Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
