Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
